With the advent of the internet and dating sites, so has the number of people who are dating people outside of their geographical area. These relationships can be very tricky even if it’s just one town over, moreover if they are cities, countries of continents away. While these relationships work for some, it may not work others. This is due to wide range of factors that normally affects traditional relationships but is magnified due to lack of physical nearness.
I recently entered into a long distance courtship with a person who lives in another country and it has me thinking; what are pros and cons of having a relationship with someone who is unable to be with you physically every day.
- Freedom and autonomy- You have a great appreciation of your relationship and is able to focus on your relationship when you’re together. You have the opportunity to enjoy your independence without any obligation to be near your significant other.
- The honeymoon effect- You have the sense of rejuvenation and excitement each time you see your partner.
- You’re taken- It is nice to get attention from the opposite sex but it is even better to know that you have that special someone. Better yet when put in a position where you are the odd person you can use the “ I have a skype date” to get out of an dreaded situation.
- Technology ties you down- While technology may give us the sense of being together and the ability to share our lives almost instantaneously, it does a times feel more like a restrain. You might have gone out with friends or relaxing with family and you feel the need to reply to a text or voice note because your boyfriend/girlfriend keeps texting you back. Sometimes people in long distance relationship use it to compensate for being absent physically.
- Questioning loyalty- All relationship no matter if traditional or long distance needs to have a heavy sense of trust in order for it to work. Questions such as “why is he going out with tonight?, Why didn’t he call me back?; are all trust eroding thoughts and questions. Questioning your partner’s loyalty when you aren’t around to keep tabs on him/her is a recipe for disasters.
- Relationship question by friends and family- This is a biggie because your friends and family opinions carry so much weight in your life that their negative outlook can cause you to question your relationship.
- The feeling of loneliness- While you can text, face-time or voice note at any time of the day; having the physical contact is very important and the feeling of loneliness is more evident when you have to attend a function without your plus one.
So the question whether long distance relationship works is valid. I think the best answer to that question is that it takes work from both persons to make it work.